Face to face

We have a plethora of ways to communicate with each other in this wired and digital age.  We can connect instantly and just about anywhere.  We can send innumerable words, voice and images, often for free.

There are ways to reconnect with high school classmates or finally connect with your soul mate.  We can easily and cheaply reach out to thousands of people, prospective customers or the three couples you are inviting over for Saturday's cookout.  We have huge communications technology advantages over communicators of just a few years ago.

Nevertheless, sometimes an email or a text leaves a lot to be desired.  Or a lot to be interpreted...or misinterpreted.

I was reminded of this over the last couple of weeks as I started a string of email conversations with a friend.  She had written a comment on one of my blog entries that I wanted to use in a subsequent blog.  As a courtesy, I shared my first draft of the blog post to let her know I was going to use her comment.

It seems I had significantly misread the intent of her comment.

No problem.  That was why I had sent her a draft.  I scrapped that post and rewrote it taking a somewhat different direction with it.  Again the draft was sent.  Again comments returned.  Again I missed the intent.  Worse than before.

If, instead of trading emails, we had discussed this face-to-face, I am confident I would have better judged her intent.  If we had talked face-to-face, I am sure that the back and forth exchange would have resulted not only in a better understanding but a more creative and entertaining blog topic.  Instead, you just get this.

Nothing replaces the amount of communication that happens when you are with someone and talking.  You share the words you say, but also the delivery of those words.  As poets are fond of saying, there is quite a lot that can be said in the spaces between the words.  The speaker's intonation, facial expressions, body language and  volume send messages, often clearer and more truthfully than the words chosen.

There is also no such thing as one-way communications when you are talking with someone in person.  The listener often communicates just as much as the speaker.  Her body language, level of attention, reactions and responses often let the speaker know whether the message is being received or whether there is miscommunication or confusion.

Also, the role of speaker and listener is not so clearly delineated in face-to-face conversation as it is in email.  In a healthy conversation, the roles of speaker and listener shift rapidly.  Often, especially when the parties are truly engaged in the conversation, it would be impossible to label either person as the speaker or the listener.  In fact, one of the challenges of effective face-to-face communications is to allow the other person the space to respond and discuss with you.

There are many instances when emailing or texting is the best way to reach someone, the best was to address and resolve an issue and the best way to chat with someone.  But many times, nothing beats some java (the brewed kind) and the other person sitting across the table from you!

Related articles

• Talking together
• Miscommunication

The Formula for Quality Communications: 6C=Q

I have written about the need to be more concise and more precise in the messages we use.  In an earlier blog post (see link below), I referred to this as creating carefully crafted, concise messages that clearly communicate one or two key messages.  Six C's that result in a quality message.  6C=Q.

It has been suggested that platitudes are fine but specifics are what are really helpful.  I agree.  In this blog I am going to start with several ideas about how to be clear and concise in your messages.  I challenge everyone who reads this to leave a comment with a tip or two that YOU use to make sure your messages are quality messages, especially in today's world of interactive and social media.  I will share all ideas I get in a future blog.

Tips for Creating Carefully Crafted, Concise Messages that Clearly Communicate

• Clear Concise Communications are rarely created by accident.  This takes work.  The more you work at it, the easier it will seem, but rarely is clear concise communication created by accident.  As Abraham Lincoln famously said prior to a speech, "This speech would have been shorter but I ran out of time."
• Clear Concise Communications requires that you have a key message and a key audience in mind.  You have to be clear about what message you want to get out and who you want to get it to.  Your decision on both these areas will dictate everything about your message.
• Be aware of the language that you use.  Many of us who work in a single industry have to be aware that many people we are trying to communicate with, including many people within that same industry, don't understand the jargon, acronyms and language shortcuts that are a part of every industry.  There ARE times when it is appropriate to use those things, but do it purposefully.
• Write to communicate.  What I mean by this is pay more attention to getting your message across in a clear and engaging way than to the formal rules of grammar (unless of course you are communicating to a group of English teachers!).  This is closely related to the next tip.
• Write how your intended audience talks.  You want to communicate with your intended audience, so you need to communicate how they communicate.  This means using the language they use.  It also means communicating using the media they use.
• If you can't say it in 30 seconds or 300 words, you haven't figured out your key message.
• Be concious of the rhythms of your writing.  The best writing has a rhythm or cadence to it.
• Edit by reading aloud.  Your ear is a great editor!
• When possible illustrate your ideas with pictures. While a picture may be worth a thousand words it is worth way more than that when it comes to its ability to generate attention and interest.
• If you are illustraing with pictures, consider moving pictures.  Video is easier, cheaper and more popular than ever before.  It should be part of your communications toolbox.
• Great video starts with a great script.  A great script delivers the message in less than a few minutes (see above).
• Great communications starts and ends with great listening.  If you are listening (to your audience, to your peers, to yourself) you will have a much better idea of how to communicate.  If you are listening you will also have a better idea of how your message is being recieved.  You have two ears and one mouth which is a good reminder of the ratio of listening to talking (or writing) that you should be doing.

There is more, but I want to hear from readers.  Add a bullet point or two to this list in a comment and I will publish them in a future blog!  Thanks!

Related articles

• Quality vs. Control
• 7 Tips to Improve Your Communication Skills