Face to Face

Try as we might, email and Skype will never replace all of our face to face interactions; webinars and conference calls will never be the same as sitting across a table from someone and solving the world’s problems; Facebook and LinkedIn will never take the place of grabbing dinner and drinks with friends.

Don’t get me wrong, conference calls and webinars serve a valuable purpose, but they don’t do a good job of establishing relationships, which is the basis for any successful business or marketing effort.  I have run successful events almost entirely by conference call, but I believe that worked because most of the people on the conference call already knew each other.  We had met many times in face to face meetings and networking opportunities and had worked together before.

What is it about face to face meetings that make them so powerful and important?  There are the obvious benefits.  You can read body language and facial expressions.  The fact that someone took the time to meet in person denotes a value to the meeting.

The real benefits of meeting in person are more subtle.  With apologies to all the online dating sites out there, I think it is nigh impossible to develop a solid relationship entirely online, regardless if the relationship is business-oriented, platonic or otherwise!  There are too many nuances and subtleties that are not a part of communications when you are separated by screens.   

I also think that promises and commitments made in person are more solid and harder to ignore than those made online.  This is especially true if you’ve only known the person online.

I think that there are wonderful tools out there that allow us to improve our productivity, increase our connections and talk to more people for much less investment (in time and resources).  I think these tools are most effective as supplements to existing relationships.  I also think that there will never be technology that truly takes the place of a face to face conversation. 

If only because it’s harder to share an appetizer that way!

Face to face

We have a plethora of ways to communicate with each other in this wired and digital age.  We can connect instantly and just about anywhere.  We can send innumerable words, voice and images, often for free.

There are ways to reconnect with high school classmates or finally connect with your soul mate.  We can easily and cheaply reach out to thousands of people, prospective customers or the three couples you are inviting over for Saturday's cookout.  We have huge communications technology advantages over communicators of just a few years ago.

Nevertheless, sometimes an email or a text leaves a lot to be desired.  Or a lot to be interpreted...or misinterpreted.

I was reminded of this over the last couple of weeks as I started a string of email conversations with a friend.  She had written a comment on one of my blog entries that I wanted to use in a subsequent blog.  As a courtesy, I shared my first draft of the blog post to let her know I was going to use her comment.

It seems I had significantly misread the intent of her comment.

No problem.  That was why I had sent her a draft.  I scrapped that post and rewrote it taking a somewhat different direction with it.  Again the draft was sent.  Again comments returned.  Again I missed the intent.  Worse than before.

If, instead of trading emails, we had discussed this face-to-face, I am confident I would have better judged her intent.  If we had talked face-to-face, I am sure that the back and forth exchange would have resulted not only in a better understanding but a more creative and entertaining blog topic.  Instead, you just get this.

Nothing replaces the amount of communication that happens when you are with someone and talking.  You share the words you say, but also the delivery of those words.  As poets are fond of saying, there is quite a lot that can be said in the spaces between the words.  The speaker's intonation, facial expressions, body language and  volume send messages, often clearer and more truthfully than the words chosen.

There is also no such thing as one-way communications when you are talking with someone in person.  The listener often communicates just as much as the speaker.  Her body language, level of attention, reactions and responses often let the speaker know whether the message is being received or whether there is miscommunication or confusion.

Also, the role of speaker and listener is not so clearly delineated in face-to-face conversation as it is in email.  In a healthy conversation, the roles of speaker and listener shift rapidly.  Often, especially when the parties are truly engaged in the conversation, it would be impossible to label either person as the speaker or the listener.  In fact, one of the challenges of effective face-to-face communications is to allow the other person the space to respond and discuss with you.

There are many instances when emailing or texting is the best way to reach someone, the best was to address and resolve an issue and the best way to chat with someone.  But many times, nothing beats some java (the brewed kind) and the other person sitting across the table from you!

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• Miscommunication