The Challenges of DeFriending

I have too many friends.  I am too linked in.  I need to simplify.

At least that was my intention when I wrote a post on quality vs. quantity when it comes to social media contacts several years ago.  Read that blog here.

All was fine and good until I started realizing that I was missing messages from contacts that I really cared about.  A colleague told me about an opportunity, but I missed it among the sea of posts I get daily.  I have to search to find pictures of my 1 year-old niece on Facebook because I get lots of other messages that aren't nearly as important, nor as cute.

So when I wrote, two years ago, about my intention to go for quality over quantity on my social media contacts, my intentions were good.  But liking someone is a lot easier than "unliking" them.  I have not made much progress on winnowing down my contacts list.  One of my many issues with Facebook is that they have all sorts of groups and games and features that encourage you to connect with lots of people, but they make it difficult (at least to this Luddite) to sort and organize your contacts.  I have "friends" that I connected with several years ago over a common interest in an issue or an event.  The problem is I don't remember what that issue or event is any longer.

Also, you friend someone by pushing one little button.  Once they accept the invitation, you are Facebook friends.  To defriend someone, once you know that want to, involves several steps.

Ultimately though, the problem for me is in the difference between the two actions.  Friending is a generally positive and inclusive action.  It opens up possibilities of connections made and opportunities revealed.  Removing friends, or links, or contacts is the opposite.  It shrinks your online world.

Or does it.  As I wrote two years ago, sometimes it is about numbers, but sometimes its about making sure you see those cute toddler pictures!

Social Media: Quality vs. quantity

The other day I read an email from a friend and colleague who had written to me on LinkedIn asking for a favor.   The problem is that she had written me several weeks before I had read the email, and now the favor was a moot point.  The problem wasn't that I had just ignored her request, the problem was I didn't see it until it was weeks old.  I didn't see it because of the volume of message I get from LinkedIn has caused me to turn the volume way down on those messages.

Don't get me wrong.  I am not suggesting that I am so popular or so important on LI that massive amounts of people send me messages to get my perspective or advice.  Rather, I have adopted the strategy of being what is called an Open Networker.  The philosophy of an Open Networker, as I understand it, is that no contact is a bad contact.  That the advantages of social media multiply if you accrue a larger network of contacts.  While I never got caught up in the arms race that some LI open networkers get in, trying to have the most connections, I also have not hesitated to accept link requests from people with little or no obvious connection to me.

I have had the belief that a larger network would serve me best by giving me a larger pool of references and a greater resource of opinions when I have posted a query.  While this proved true and useful when I was first using LI, as more of my "real" contacts have started using LI as a means of connection and communication, it appears to have become counterproductive.

So the question I pose to the blogosphere is this:  which is better, quantity or quality when it comes to connections in social media.  I realize that there are some differences between LI, Twitter, Facebook, and other social media.  I am interested in whether people have strong opinions, relevant experience, or a pithy comment or two regarding contacts in social media.  What are the advantages to open networking?  What are the disadvantages?  I will be posting a link to this blog on all my social media sites (LI, Twitter & Facebook)  I am hoping to be educated and enlightened by my open network!

Self Promotion in the Internet age

I have been reading a fair amount of Seth Godin's writings lately*, so naturally I have been thinking a lot about how things have changed with in the age of the Internet.  One of the things that has changed, or evolved, is the common criticism that marketers used to face is that they were lousy about marketing themselves. 

I think that there are many reasons for this.  Primarily though, most of us are by nature shy about tooting our own horn.  As marketers, we are used to putting the brand, the company, the client, and/or the CEO out front, as we stand behind them and whisper in their ear.  Stepping out into the spotlight seemed inappropriate somehow. 

Things have changed a bit now in this wired world of the internet with its many variations and iterations.  Now it is easier than ever for us to "market ourselves" by showcasing our work.  No longer does self-promotion need to be about passnig out variations of your resume.  Now, via blogs or websites you can showcase the work you have done and make sure those who are interested know it was you who created it.  Now, via networking sites such as LinkedIn, you can update your contacts on your achievements without having to worry about shoving a vitae in their faces.  You can even have your contacts pubicly recommend you.

Make no mistake, self promotion is still extremely important.  Good self promotion also still takes effort and attention.  Its just that the focus can now be more on the work you do, which is something I think many of us feel more comfortable with!

* If you consider yourself a marketer and are not reading Seth Godin these days, you should probably reconsider!