The Challenges of DeFriending

I have too many friends.  I am too linked in.  I need to simplify.

At least that was my intention when I wrote a post on quality vs. quantity when it comes to social media contacts several years ago.  Read that blog here.

All was fine and good until I started realizing that I was missing messages from contacts that I really cared about.  A colleague told me about an opportunity, but I missed it among the sea of posts I get daily.  I have to search to find pictures of my 1 year-old niece on Facebook because I get lots of other messages that aren't nearly as important, nor as cute.

So when I wrote, two years ago, about my intention to go for quality over quantity on my social media contacts, my intentions were good.  But liking someone is a lot easier than "unliking" them.  I have not made much progress on winnowing down my contacts list.  One of my many issues with Facebook is that they have all sorts of groups and games and features that encourage you to connect with lots of people, but they make it difficult (at least to this Luddite) to sort and organize your contacts.  I have "friends" that I connected with several years ago over a common interest in an issue or an event.  The problem is I don't remember what that issue or event is any longer.

Also, you friend someone by pushing one little button.  Once they accept the invitation, you are Facebook friends.  To defriend someone, once you know that want to, involves several steps.

Ultimately though, the problem for me is in the difference between the two actions.  Friending is a generally positive and inclusive action.  It opens up possibilities of connections made and opportunities revealed.  Removing friends, or links, or contacts is the opposite.  It shrinks your online world.

Or does it.  As I wrote two years ago, sometimes it is about numbers, but sometimes its about making sure you see those cute toddler pictures!